Staff photo by DARWIN WEIGEL
Louise Sullivan of North Beach poses for picture with her son, Michael Parrish, in his Chesapeake Beach home. Sullivan adoption of Parrish became official Jan. 3.
After living 80 years without any biological children, Louise Sullivan adopted her first and only son at the beginning of January. Her new son is her best friend, 49-year-old Michael Parrish.
Sullivan met Parrish in 2002 after she and her husband, Phil, moved to Burnt Oaks North Apartments in North Beach. On April 24 of that year, the Sullivans went on a walk along the boardwalk when a little ball of fur suddenly ran towards them.
“I said, ‘oh, isn’t she cute.’ And then this real tall man said, ‘it’s a he,’” Sullivan said.
Parrish was walking his puppy, Colby, along the boardwalk that evening. “Louise loved puppies, so she asked if she could pet my dog and we just struck a friendship up from that point.”
Parrish said he would see the Sullivans most mornings on the boardwalk and would chat with them. After two months of a budding friendship, Parrish said he and his partner, Michael, were getting ready to take a trip and he asked Sullivan if she would like to watch his dog and his house while they were away.
“We were traveling quite a bit then, so once a month [the Sullivans] were staying at our house for a week watching the house and taking care of the dog,” Parrish said. “That’s when we really became very close.”
Sullivan said she was a nervous wreck that first week, but now Parrish’s house is like a second home and she considers Colby her “granddog.”
The Sullivans and Parrish became so close over the coming years that they would often have dinners together, see movies together and even take trips together. Soon, Parrish, whose mother died at about the time he met the Sullivans, said he came to think of Louise and Phil Sullivan as his own parents. Sullivan said she and her husband reciprocated Michael’s feelings and treated him as though he was their son.
In 2009, Sullivan and her husband were on Mount Harmony Road traveling to a grocery store in Dunkirk when a car crossed the double yellow line and hit the Sullivans’ car head-on. Sullivan said she doesn’t remember much from the incident until she woke up in the hospital three days later.
Parrish said he went to the hospital after he heard about the accident, where he learned that Phil was severely injured. Parrish said he held Phil’s hand and said a prayer as a man he thought of as a father took his last breath.
As a hospice volunteer for more than 10 years who has stood by many people as they’ve died, Parrish said being with Phil as he passed away caused mixed emotions.
“I knew he was going to be with God but I also knew I had to tell Louise,” Parrish said, adding that he was scared he might lose her as well.
Hospital staff told Parrish he could not stay with Sullivan during her time at the hospital because he was not family.
“Three days later I guess I came to, and I looked to the right and I saw feet hanging over this roll-away bed and it was Michael. He never left me,” Sullivan said.
After her husband of 56 years died, Sullivan said her relationship with Parrish continued to grow stronger. While he didn’t take the place of her husband, Sullivan said Parrish was there to support her through a tough time.
Michael Horstkamp, Parrish’s partner of 18 years, said Parrish was a big part of helping Louise deal with the pain of losing her husband.
“Michael stepped in and became the son, became the best friend, became the shoulder to cry on for Louise and helped pull her life back together as best she could given the circumstances,” Horstkamp said.
While at Parrish’s house one evening, Sullivan told Parrish she couldn’t have loved him more if he was her own son. Parrish said he suggested they “make it legal” because he loved her as well, and Sullivan said “nothing would make her happier.”
Parrish said since they had already thought of each other as mother and son, to follow through with a legal adoption just solidifies the love that they have for each other.
Sullivan, who has no children and no family in the area, said she never thought she’d be adopting a son so late in her life.
“On Jan. 3 we went to court in the judge’s chambers and I adopted Michael, and I’m 80 years old,” Sullivan said. “It just made my life.”
Parrish said he feels “extremely blessed” to have the unconditional love of a mother twice in his life. “It’s still so new, but I’ve started calling [Sullivan] mom and she gets a real big grin every time.”
Horstkamp was a witness at the courthouse for the adoption, which he called “wonderful.”
“It’s just a wonderful thing for both of them,” Horstkamp said. “She and Michael have had this great sort of mother-son relationship and friendship for 10 years or more.”
Ted Olmsted, an attorney from Olmsted & Olmsted LLC of La Plata, said adult adoptions are rare in Southern Maryland. He said the law firm has only handled one or two adult adoptions over the years.
Three common reasons for adult adoptions are for inheritance purposes, to formalize an existing parent/child relationship and to care for a disabled adult.
After the car accident in 2009, Parrish was given Sullivan’s power of attorney and was named the beneficiary in her will. He said the motivation to be legally adopted now was unconditional love, not for financial gain. “There is no financial gain for me,” he said.
Sullivan said Parrish calls her on the phone every day and visits her three or four times a week. She said she often goes to his house for dinner or they eat out at a restaurant. “It’s a wonderful relationship. I couldn’t love Michael Parrish any more if he was my own flesh and blood.”
Parrish said he and Sullivan had a mother and son relationship prior to the legal adoption, so not much has changed. He said everyone he has told about the adoption has been very open and accepting of it, including Horstkamp.
Horstkamp said he was very supportive of the idea when Parrish asked his feelings about the adoption.
“I was in complete acceptance of it from the beginning,” Horstkamp said. “I said I think it’s wonderful, it’s just making it legal because you already behave like mother and son.”
Parrish said his entire family became Sullivan’s family and his nieces and nephews call Sullivan grandma. When Parrish threw Sullivan an 80th birthday party last year, more than 100 people came, including his sisters from North Carolina and Virginia.
“She’s been in our lives for so long,” Parrish said. “She and Phil would come to our family Christmases for almost 10 years and [my family] loves her. Louise is such a loving, caring, giving person. I’m proud to have her as my mother.”
kfitzpatrick@somdnews.com