Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
E-mail this article
Print this Article

By Blair Lee

Thanks to a news source who must remain anonymous in order to speak candidly, I have come into possession of the Christmas wish lists of several prominent Marylanders.

Here’s what these folks wanted to find under their Christmas trees:

•Gov. Martin O’Malley: A job starting January 2015. Job must include free car and driver, free mansion and free overseas travel.

•Lt. Gov. Anthony Brown: An Obamacare website that actually works.

•Attorney General Doug Gansler: An Instagram of Anthony Brown twerking and smoking pot at a Miley Cyrus concert.

•Heather Mizeur: A miracle.

•The Washington Redskins: A new owner.

•The Washington Wizards: A new team.

•The Black Guerilla Family: Their own private jail where they can smuggle in contraband, operate a crime syndicate and have sex with the female guards. Oops, never mind, they already have that.

•Western Maryland: Statehood.

•P.G. County Executive Rushern Baker: The new FBI headquarters.

•Comptroller Peter Franchot: Uncontested primary and general elections.

•D.C. Mayor Vince Gray: A hung jury.

•The Eastern Shore chicken industry: A scientific discovery that chicken manure erases face wrinkles and cures cancer.

•Maryland’s casino industry: A minimum wager law.

•Maryland taxpayers: Repeal of the rain tax.

•Baltimore city: A Fortune 500 corporate headquarters.

•Attorney General candidate Brian Frosh: Voter recognition that his opponent, Jon Cardin, is not U.S. Sen. Ben Cardin.

•Terps basketball coach Mark Turgeon: A point guard.

•The Baltimore Ravens: A repeat.

•The Baltimore Orioles: A weaker division.

•The tea party: A balanced budget.

•The Mainstream Media: Balanced reporting.

•Federal employees: A government shutdown with back pay.

•Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake: 10,000 new families moving into Baltimore.

•The National Security Agency: (Does not exist)

•Maryland motorists: $2 a gallon gas.

•Sen. Barbara Mikulski: Stilts

•2014 Maryland elections: Paper ballots.

•The Chesapeake Bay: A flush moratorium.

•The Sierra Club: Global cooling.

•Maryland gun dealers: Additional harsh gun control laws.

•Maryland budget’s structural deficit: The winning Mega Millions lottery ticket.

•Senate President Thomas Mike Miller: Internet gambling.

•Ron George, Charles Lollar and Larry Hogan: Running mates.

•The Maryland General Assembly: Voter amnesia.

The writer is chairman of the board of Lee Development Group in Silver Spring and a regular commentator for WBAL radio. His columns appear periodically in the Maryland Independent. His past columns are available at His email address is