Injured woman criticizes system and warns victims

THIS ‘N' THAT

Friday, June 26, 2009

She's weighing her options to pursue her grievances over the trial's outcome, but she's also putting out a warning to women to beware of befriending married men and to quickly report any allegations of abuse.

Law officers went in early March to the home of the 38-year-old woman, who reported that the Charles County man she'd been dating had attacked her in late January at her residence, court papers state. The woman asked that her name not be published, as the identity of the defendant acquitted on June 11 also is being withheld.

She told police that the man came into her home, court papers state, where a scuffle ensued before she broke his car's windshield and he allegedly tackled her to the ground. She did not call police, and the man drove her two days later to a hospital, where she also told the staff that she wished no help from police.

Even after making the police report in March that led to the man's arrest, and his release on personal recognizance, she said she continued dating him until toward the end of that month. "That's where I messed up, [by] continuing with him," she said.

The pair sought restraining orders against each other and were referred to mediation, she said, a week before this month's trial before a judge. She said her medical records and pictures of her injuries were presented. "I told him I was wrong to be messing with a married man," she said, "but that does not mean that I deserve to get a beating."

The woman said she lost a month from work because of her injuries, and continues to pay for medications as she recovers from a fractured bone in her face and pain in her ribs.

The woman said her relationship with the married man and delay in calling police should not have been factors in the trial, but that she has learned from the experience. She said her family urged her from the onset to report her injuries, but that a counselor later told her that her response was not unusual. "I would like to tell everyone not to make the mistakes that I made. I want to help women who have been in my situation," she said. "You cannot be friends with a married man. The next thing you know, things have started happening. Don't fall into that trap." When trouble starts, she said, "Don't ever talk to them again. Let it go."

She said the other lesson is to call police right away to report any abuse, but the experience also has left her with an understanding of why some women may be wary of seeking assistance.

"That's why women don't come forward," she said. "The system doesn't look out for you. Look at how we get treated."

In addition to the emergency number 911, domestic violence also can be reported to the Walden/Sierra help line at 301-863-6661 or the Southern Maryland Center for Family Advocacy at 301-373-4141.

Hollywood rescue squad plans Saturday open house

The Hollywood Volunteer Rescue Squad Auxiliary and the Hollywood Volunteer Rescue Squad are sponsoring an open house from 1 to 5 p.m. tomorrow, Saturday, at the squad building off Route 235 in Hollywood.

Live entertainment will include bluegrass and '70s-'80s music. Activities for children will feature a moon bounce, water balloons and dunk booth. Hamburgers, hot dogs, chips and other foods will be served.

There will be a 50/50 raffle and door prizes. The open house will provide visitors a chance to meet the volunteers that serve their community. Admission is free.

For more information, call 301-373-3028, 301-373-3833 or 240-298-7956.

Sotterley Plantation plans July 5 concert

Sotterley Plantation in Hollywood will hold its annual Independence Day Celebration Concert from 1 to 4 p.m. on Sunday, July 5, featuring the Chesapeake Brass Ensemble led by Jeffrey Silberschlag of St. Mary's College of Maryland.

Pack picnic baskets, and bring along lawn chairs and blankets. Everyone with a military ID is invited to celebrate the event free of charge. The cost is $10 per vehicle, enabling Sotterley to keep its doors open to the public and continue its mission. See www.sotterley.org.

Sotterley plans camp

The past will come alive in an exciting weeklong exploration of Sotterley Plantation in Hollywood from July 20 to the 24, as children 8 to 12 will have the opportunity to investigate Sotterley's 300-year history. The week's activities will include exploring life as a Colonial child, African-American history, archaeology and hiking.

Children who enjoy the challenge of sleuthing can take part in a scavenger hunt. Hands-on activities and daily crafts in the summer camp will provide an experience in learning while having fun.

The deadline for registration is next Wednesday, July 1. The summer camp fee is $150 per child and $125 for Sotterley members, and a $25 registration fee is required. To reserve a child's space in camp, contact Carolyn Hoey, education director, by calling 301-373-2280 or sending e-mail to education@sotterley.org.

Online survey seeks input on teen drivers

St. Mary's highway safety officials have requested that parents or guardians of teenage drivers take part in an online survey at http://tinyurl.com/MVAsurvey to share their knowledge and experience to minimize risks that the young motorists will face out on the road. The surveys must be completed by July 10.

Kids invited to pursue Heritage Passport explorations

Children 5 to 12 can pick up an Adventure Passport at any St. Mary's County Library branch to take part in exploring St. Mary's this summer in celebration of Celebrate 375. If they visit five sites, they'll receive a coupon for free ice cream and be entered in the grand prize drawing for a copy of Sally Walker's book, "Written in Bone."

The program, funded by the Southern Maryland Heritage Area Consortium, St. Mary's County government and the St. Mary's County Library, will encourage visits to heritage sites throughout St. Mary's. The passport allows free admission for the child at the sites.

Each site has designed fun activities for the children. The program will allow children to learn and appreciate their heritage while fostering early stewardship practices.

Children can pick up a passport at any library, and must return their stamped passport to the library by Aug. 31 to be eligible for the free ice cream and for the grand prize drawing.

The sites include the St. Mary's County Welcome Center, St. Clement's Island Museum, Tudor Hall, Piney Point Lighthouse, Museum and Historic Park, Point Lookout State Park Lighthouse and Civil War Museum, Historic St. Mary's City, Sotterley Plantation, Patuxent River Naval Air Museum, Cecil's Mill Historic District, and The Old Leonardtown Armory, also known as the Leonardtown branch of the St. Mary's County Library.

For more information, call 301-475-2846, ext. 1007, or 301-475-4200, ext. 1403.

Ag Commission seeks ‘buy local' participants

The Southern Maryland Agricultural Development Commission has invited the owners of farms, farmers' markets, farm stands and restaurants that serve locally grown food and wine to submit information on any special events planned for the 2009 Buy Local Challenge Week. The special events from July 18 to the 26 will be featured on a newly launched Buy Local Challenge Web site, www.buy-local-challenge.com. Submit information by July 10 to SMADC, PO. Box 745, Hughesville, MD 20637, call 301-274-1922 or e-mail cbergmark@somarylandsogood.com.

School plans NYC trip

As Holy Angels-Sacred Heart School closes this year, its staff and supporters are still raising funds to pay outstanding bills including summer pay for teachers' salaries and other expenses.

The school will benefit from the proceeds of a bus trip to New York City on Aug. 6 and 7 and include attending a Broadway production of "Shrek," hotel accommodations at the Best Western President close to Times Square and Friday's breakfast and dinner. Booking deadline is July 10 for the trip, departing at 5:30 a.m. that Thursday from Holy Angels Church, and returning at about 9:30 p.m. on that Friday. For more information call 301-884-8728 or 240-925-0801.

jwharton@somdnews.com