For some people, it’s going to be a blue Christmas

Holidays can bring on depression

Wednesday, Dec. 20, 2006

That’s what the song says about Christmas. But, for some, the holiday season also marks the onset of depression.

‘‘There’s a lot of anticipation” as we move into the Christmas season, said Kathleen O’Brien, executive director of Walden⁄Sierra, a nonprofit facility that offers crisis counseling and substance abuse treatment services. She called the Christmas holiday ‘‘a season of expectations.”

‘‘We all want to be happy” during the holiday, she said. ‘‘So we get our emotions all revved up. Whether it be from childhood memories, or for religious reasons, or anything else, we always want this to be the perfect season.”

But often, said Gary Lynch, Walden’s assistant director, ‘‘our reality doesn’t match our dreams” for the holiday. ‘‘We may start worrying about relationships, or finances,” he said, ‘‘or we may suffer some other disappointments, before or during the holiday. Also, the holiday can be tremendously stressful because of the physical demands we place on ourselves.”

Shopping and wrapping presents for family and friends, decorating the home, preparing special meals and traveling bring added physical stress during the holiday season.

‘‘This may also be your first Christmas after the loss of a loved one,” said O’Brien. ‘‘That added loneliness just exacerbates” what may already be a stressful time.

‘‘It’s called a seasonal affective disorder,” she said. ‘‘This is supposed to be the season to be jolly. But often we’re harder on ourselves and on others” during the holidays. Sometimes, she suggested, people are trying too hard to make up for disappointing holidays they may have experienced in their childhood. ‘‘We put a lot of strain on ourselves,” O’Brien said, that could lead to the onset of depression.‘‘Maybe what we really need,” she said, ‘‘is more ‘silent night’ and less ‘deck the halls.’”

Fatigue, said Lynch, as well as irritability and changes in eating habits may be early signs of depression. In these times of added stress, he said, ‘‘Folks may self-medicate, with alcohol or by using drugs. And that could easily turn into a more serious problem. We have found, for instance, that more cases of domestic violence are reported during the holidays.” Alcohol consumption, Lynch said, can actually add to a person’s depression, not help it.

To combat holiday depression, O’Brien suggested people may want to create new family traditions instead of trying to relive memories from the past.

‘‘Be more gentle on yourself and on others,” she said, ‘‘and enjoy your quiet time, because we’re always so busy this time of the year. Try to take long, solo walks. Things like this help people get back in touch with themselves.”

Another way to combat holiday depression, Lynch suggested, would be to find out what local community and social groups and area churches are doing during the holidays.

‘‘There’s tons of free events going on,” he said, ‘‘something for everyone to enjoy.”

O’Brien also suggested giving people ‘‘non-traditional gifts, gifts of time. Time with family, time with friends, time alone. And learn to say ‘no.’ You can’t do everything that people want you to do.”

‘‘It’s not the gifts under the tree” that are important, said Lynch. ‘‘It’s the time spent around the tree with family and friends.”

If someone recognizes the possible onset of holiday depression, or may be suffering from alcohol or drug abuse and is seeking help, Lynch said Walden offers a 24-hour crisis hotline. The hotline staff, he said, is there to listen and ‘‘can help people link up” with others who can offer professional assistance.

‘‘First,” Lynch said, people in crisis ‘‘need to recognize their needs, and they need to know there are services available” where they can get help. ‘‘We work to find a resolution to the [immediate] crisis, then we look at the person’s needs for long-term help. ‘‘This is a community that cares,” he said, ‘‘and people need to know that there’s help available.”